The last couple of weeks have been a real pain... cos SIP started. Kinda hate it when the school admin decide to use us as their guinea pigs in their attempt to make NUS Medicine world class. I do agree that there needs to be change. But some of the changes dun make sense. We dun need to get used to suffering as a HO. No need to make us go thru 2 months of SIP for that. Jus teach us what is necessary and let us go home and study... not waste our time. Or if you are going to make us do sai4 gang1, then at least give us a pay worthy of sai4 gang1 warriors tt we truly are.

Haven't studied much at all, and prob will fail if i take the exams now. But on the brighter note, i am more able to do the stuff tt nurses and housemen must do... like take blood from small tiny veins on patients who look like they dun really have all that much blood left to give.

Seen patients die in front of me. Getting kinda used to it liao. Doesn't bother me all tat much anymore.

The setting plug part bothers me more than seeing dead patients. Me think weirdz.. and tok Farnie... losing?? it#?? I get more upset abt causing patients pain when i bump a vein 1 2 3 4.. times than when i see them pass on. Prob becos i think tt that's better for them... a release from all these sufferings tt plagues their bodies while they are still here. There is no dignity in dying, no matter how we try to make it sound better. There is only dignity in living, and in death. The process of dying isn't cool at all. there is nothing glorious about having to have ppl change ur diapers, shower you, feed you. there is nothing nice abt having a brain wrecked by many many infarcts such that you no longer recognise those who are closest to you. You have dementia. You get depressed cos of the pain, and the many diseases that are feeding on ur body. You feel tipsy half the time and can't really get up cos of the side effects of the 10+ medications tt you have to take in order to prolong this "life".

Let them go when it's time, and delay not the passage. For the children that seek that delay will only the good of themselves, to appease that guilt striken conscience tormented by regrets of never having known their parents, or putting careers and material things above relationships.